Depression in The Lakes of Alderaan

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Depression

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Dancelittleewok		#21	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1069 Aug 16 10 6:07 AM	Remove this ad MyriAntilles wrote: You're doing the right thing. Talking about it. Reaching out. That's always a step in the right direction. Do you have someone with whom you can talk things through? I used to go to a psychiatrist when I struggled with this before. However, since I don't have health insurance, my parents would be the ones paying for it.
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Uliah		#22	[url]	[-]
Posts: 6488 Aug 16 10 7:58 AM	Dance, I'm also struggling with clinical depression, and I hit a real low in January. I as well have no health insurance, but I availed myself of my county mental health clinic. Idk what the situation is where you live, but usually such clinics have a sliding scale fee, and I found the county clinic to be as professional as any private practice. Think about it because honestly if I hadn't gone in January, I'd probably be dead now. It wasn't a magic cure-all, and I still struggle on a daily basis, but it is better. Despite having a number of negative things happen since January -- and it certainly seems like I've been hit with more than my share of life's crap lately -- I'm making steady progress. It's hard work, but it's happening. I'm not going to lie to you; there are days with absolutely no joy at all, but there are more days with it now. Clinical depression is an insidious disease. It can sneak up on you and slowly take hold, then grind you down until getting out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other requires all your energy. I am a health care professional, I've worked as a psychiatric nurse and I still didn't recognize it in myself until it was almost too late. Dance, I absolutely agree with Myri. Reach out, talk to people. If the first person doesn't listen or brushes off the seriousness of how you feel, reach out to someone else. You're not alone and there are people who understand exactly how you feel and what you're going through.
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MrNomAnor		#23	[url]	[-]
Posts: 13966 Aug 17 10 6:26 PM	Wow. I had no idea Uliah. I don't know if this helps, me being overseas and only contactable via the Internets. In some ways, it is so limited in that you don't have that brilliant and nuanced face-to-face conversation and that ability to look into ones' eyes when you are talking to them, but I am here. I am here. I also hope that your sons and other loved ones help you in these difficult times. And Dance, I also had no idea! You hide it well. And that is not meant to be a glib or offhand remark to you, so please do not take it as such. I just find it incredible, for want of a better word, that people who suffer depression can actually function without people seeing it. That they are so down and shattered on the inside, but people can't physically see it in their faces or movements. I also hope that you know we are here for you on the Internets, and I hope that is some small comfort. I am sure you have people in your life - as you well indicated - that can also help you. I gert frustrated in times like these that I cannot reach through my computer screen and give you a firm yet kind pat on the shoulder and let you know you are valued. Aria, is there anything you can't do, girl!? It does not surprise me that you have such a clinic (center? Which is the correct word here?), as you seem like such a very kind and approachable person, at least in my impression of you..
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Uliah		#24	[url]	[-]
Posts: 6488 Aug 18 10 5:21 PM	Thanks, Nom. Sometimes just knowing there are people out there who want to help you is enough to keep you going.
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Dancelittleewok		#25	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1069 Aug 18 10 5:35 PM	Today, I feel like my soul is dead but my body keeps on existing. I'm trying to seek out being around others, but there's no point in it, nothing is being met. I'm becoming a zombie, a human that hates being human. I'm not suicidal, just want oblivion.
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Rouge77		#26	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5599 Aug 18 10 5:58 PM	I'm poor to say anything on advice, I'm sure far more wise words will come from others, but the worst thing possible is to be left with your own thoughts. If you can't reach other people, get a reaction from them - I don't think you should stop, although from personal experience I say that one can live without that - you need something else to stop yourself from just going over and over with those thoughts. A hobby or hobbies. Nothing fancy necessarily, but something to spend time and take thoughts away from current situation. It might be simple like walking or jogging. I walk a lot in nature, take pictures with my camera, go watching the stars. A hobby might be a way of being able to connect with people too, through the shared interest. I'm sure you have heard this kind of things before, but you are a smart person, you can pull through, I'm sure of it. If it's an Imperial, it deserves to die.
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S1thari		#27	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1086 Aug 19 10 1:16 PM	Remove this ad Dancelittleewok wrote: Today, I feel like my soul is dead but my body keeps on existing. I'm trying to seek out being around others, but there's no point in it, nothing is being met. I'm becoming a zombie, a human that hates being human. I'm not suicidal, just want oblivion. I know this exact feeling, trust me. I work nights and sleep during the day, which only seems to add to the darkness and the dread, but for me, working keeps my mind mostly occupied. The best remedy for depression for me is to stay busy, so that you're not alone with your thoughts - I grind myself into exhaustion most days. I know what you mean about not wanting to be around people - but trust me, if you isolate yourself for too long, you'll begin to find that you want exactly the opposite. Me and my gf have been "on a break" for a couple months now, and there's not a moment that goes by where I don't think about her, or want to talk to her about something, which also adds to the sorrow and frustration. But the human mind's greatest asset, to me, is the ability to move on despite seemingly insurmountable odds. Just try to stay busy - it'll pass.
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Uliah		#28	[url]	[-]
Posts: 6488 Aug 19 10 3:34 PM	The very worst thing I could do when I'm nosediving (and that's a once-a-day event these days) is to isolate myself. I know that if I do that, I'm going to spiral down and end up in a very bad place. I often have to force myself to interact, but I do it.
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S1thari		#29	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1086 Aug 19 10 9:51 PM	Yeah, I find that I unconsciously isolate myself. I do it without even intending to, because that's how I am. I can connect with people when I want to, but it feels contrived and artificial. It's weird, it's like the only time I feel real is when I'm by myself, or in my head, and that's usually a bad thing. I guess my way of thinking is just screwed. Sometimes it seems like theres no help for it, but it usually passes.
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Dancelittleewok		#30	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1069 Aug 20 10 9:45 AM	S1thari wrote: Yeah, I find that I unconsciously isolate myself. I do it without even intending to, because that's how I am. I can connect with people when I want to, but it feels contrived and artificial. It's weird, it's like the only time I feel real is when I'm by myself, or in my head, and that's usually a bad thing. I guess my way of thinking is just screwed. Sometimes it seems like theres no help for it, but it usually passes. That's me.
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petersearing		#31	[url]	[-]
Posts: 3060 Aug 21 10 8:19 AM	Dancelittleewok wrote: S1thari wrote: Yeah, I find that I unconsciously isolate myself. I do it without even intending to, because that's how I am. I can connect with people when I want to, but it feels contrived and artificial. It's weird, it's like the only time I feel real is when I'm by myself, or in my head, and that's usually a bad thing. I guess my way of thinking is just screwed. Sometimes it seems like theres no help for it, but it usually passes. That's me. This sounds a bit like me to as well NJOE survivor 2010 Runner up. Next time Obi I shall get you, Next time mwwha mwhha
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PrincessXion		#32	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1265 Aug 22 10 6:14 AM	It surprises me how many people have depression when you think you are the only one, or it feels that way. I have had bad depression on and off for years, it's been so long I can't remember since when. I don't want to say why but there were things I could not control in life making me unhappy and the way I dealt with it was not very good. I never went out, I cut myself off from life and my friends, then one day it seemed I woke up and was completly alone. I went to a therapist about a year ago who was very harsh and told me that I am the only one responsible for my feelings and that I'm the only one who can change my life to be happy again. I didn't like it at all lol, but it was what I needed, I think. After relying on other people to help with depression, I found the situation only changed when I started to take action for myself. This year has been the greatest year of my life. I feel like it is the only year I have properly lived. I find it helps to find a new hobby that you really love and that can distract you, I found many and one of my hobby turned into a passion and six months from now I will be studying acting at University. I started going out and joined clubs and made lots of new friends and met my wonderful boyfriend. I know there is time you don't want to be around other people but at this times it's always best to not be alone with your own thoughts. If you never go out and cut yourself off from the rest of the world you will get very lonely. Now my circumstances has changed and also the way I deal with negative things. I still feel sad some days but I don't let it change what I would do, even if getting out of bed feels like the hardest thing in the world. It feels like I have a whole new life now and I'm very much a different person. I never used to see any good in life and didn't care if I would live another day but now there is lots of things in life I enjoy. I hope everyone experiencing depression can find something that helps you overcome. I think it's hard for people to understand when you have depression how can you be happy when you have nothing to feel happy about. You have to find something or make it. Even after years it can be overcome, so don't give up everyone Edited 1 time by PrincessXion Aug 22 10 6:18 AM.
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S1thari		#33	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1086 Aug 23 10 12:54 AM	Remove this ad Lately it seems like I've more been yearning to connect with and relate to people than usual. Like I said, isolating one's self for too long only brings on a much deeper, darker tide of loneliness. I sleep during days and work at night, which only intensifies the depression and the loneliness because everyone's asleep when I'm awake, and so forth, and I just feel like a ghost. Sometimes, being lonely is worse than depression/isolation.
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