For example, the opening crawl in the second draft of the original:
The REPUBLIC GALACTICA is dead. Ruthless
trader barons, driven by greed and the
lust for power, have replaced enlightenment
with oppression, and "rule by the people"
with the FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE.
Until the tragic Holy Rebellion of "06",
the respected JEDI BENDU OF ASHLA were the
most powerful warriors in the Universe.
For a hundred thousand years, generations
of Jedi Bendu knights learned the ways of
the mysterious FORCE OF OTHERS, and acted
as the guardians of peace and justice in
the REPUBLIC. Now these legendary warriors
are all but extinct. One by one they have
been hunted down and destroyed by a fero-
cious rival sect of mercenary warriors:
THE BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE SITH.
It is a period of civil wars. The EMPIRE
is crumbling into lawless barbarism through-
out the million worlds of the galaxy. From
the celestial equator to the farthest
reaches of the GREAT RIFT, seventy small
solar systems have united in a common war
against the tyranny of the Empire. Under
the command of a mighty Jedi warrior known
as THE STARKILLER, the REBEL ALLIANCE has
won a crushing victory over the deadly
Imperial Star Fleet. The Empire knows that
one more such defeat will bring a thousand
more solar systems into the rebellion, and
Imperial control of the Outlands could be
lost forever...
Ah...back in the days when Alderaan was capital of the Empire...and the first draft is even better. "Knights of Sith" were once "Legions of Lettow," and those "Jedi Bendu" warriors were once known as "Dai Nogas" (
).
The REPUBLIC GALACTICA is dead. Ruthless
trader barons, driven by greed and the
lust for power, have replaced enlightenment
with oppression, and "rule by the people"
with the FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE.
Until the tragic Holy Rebellion of "06",
the respected JEDI BENDU OF ASHLA were the
most powerful warriors in the Universe.
For a hundred thousand years, generations
of Jedi Bendu knights learned the ways of
the mysterious FORCE OF OTHERS, and acted
as the guardians of peace and justice in
the REPUBLIC. Now these legendary warriors
are all but extinct. One by one they have
been hunted down and destroyed by a fero-
cious rival sect of mercenary warriors:
THE BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE SITH.
It is a period of civil wars. The EMPIRE
is crumbling into lawless barbarism through-
out the million worlds of the galaxy. From
the celestial equator to the farthest
reaches of the GREAT RIFT, seventy small
solar systems have united in a common war
against the tyranny of the Empire. Under
the command of a mighty Jedi warrior known
as THE STARKILLER, the REBEL ALLIANCE has
won a crushing victory over the deadly
Imperial Star Fleet. The Empire knows that
one more such defeat will bring a thousand
more solar systems into the rebellion, and
Imperial control of the Outlands could be
lost forever...
Ah...back in the days when Alderaan was capital of the Empire...and the first draft is even better. "Knights of Sith" were once "Legions of Lettow," and those "Jedi Bendu" warriors were once known as "Dai Nogas" (
).
<------ What I strive for
